Reflections
8:15pm, 7.22.23
Tough day today. Several tests at hospital and the normal not being able to eat, which gives me headaches.....and hardly any sleep last night....bummer. They never said it would be easy. They were right.
Thank goodness I have SuperNurse beside me helping me fight. She gives me the strength when I'm getting down. Without her support, I'm not sure how I could do it. Having someone with such a pure heart of gold, is something that the devil does not want to be near. Her heart of gold is so rare nowadays. What a special person that I do believe my Sweet Mother put in my life. 😊❤️🙏
Believe it or not, the biggest pain so far is this feeding tube they put in my stomach. This thing is the most unplanned design of something I have ever seen. I'm tempted to redo it with Irrigation drip fittings to make it more logical. Geee Wizz!
The MRI and CT scans should be reviewed early in the week and that will be a very important step in determining how long this fight will last. Please say a few prayers and throw me some positive thoughts, as I am going to need them. 🙏😊
No real pain from the chemo I do believe. The stomach muscles are from the feeding tube, the headaches from not enough sleep and having to fast before tests. I am feeling much better now, as I'm laying in bed relaxing.
I would never wish this trip on an enemy. It plays with your mind. All the wonderful past memories come back, the sad thoughts of how far is the future gonna take me, will I be able to travel again.....a million thoughts.....a huge rollercoaster ride of ups and downs.
Priorities change. Interests change. The sound of the wind in the trees become golden. I never had kids, but the sounds of kids playing is so pleasant to my ears now.
I think often about so many motorcycle races, foot races and events I've been to. I took way too many for granted. When I get through this I will guarantee I will be so very thankful that I can still race, run and play. I pray for more chances. I pray deeply.
I think of my siblings, my Great Mother and all of our family times from many years ago. I think of Tim and will he look the same if I can see him again.
I think of all the past wonderful doggies I've had and the thoughts of seeing them come running.... brings tears to my eyes.
I do believe I will beat this evil that has attacked me. I believe it was meant to be and it was done to teach me something I was overlooking.
I was overlooking a lot. No doubt.
I am laying here recharging for another day of fighting. I will continue to fight with everything I have and I will never lose my Faith. 70 to 85 years here on earth is just a blink of an eye in eternity. We should never lose focus on what is the right thing to do. I know being in a place for eternity where it's 500 degrees forever......is not where I wanna be. 😊
Today was tough, tonight is chill and tomorrow is a brand new day. Thank God, for allowing me each and every new day......a new day to always try to do better and to never give in to evil. That simple task I'm sure, makes him smile! 🙏😊
Peace my friends. 🙏🙏🙏❤️