Here we go again.....7.20.24

One year ago.

So much has happened in one year. So many uphills and so many valleys.

My battle still continues.  I have felt victory many times in one year, but it seems only after a few days before the devil shows back up again.  I am going to try and stay more calm when/if I feel victory again, as it will make the upcoming crashes be less damaging to my mind and soul.

My status now in a nutshell is:

* A recent petscan showed serious concerns around my lungs.

* An immediate biopsy was ordered and performed.

* Results came back benign.

* The doctors did not believe the results and ordered a ct scan and 2nd biopsy.

* Results came back again as benign.

* Doctors still do not believe these results.

* A special blood test that can tell if the same can*r has any cells in my body, has been ordered. It will take place this Tuesday morning. It will take 7 to 10 days for results.

If this test shows can*r cells still inside me, then an appointment will be scheduled with lung specialists on the next step. This will most likely be surgery and some form of chemo again.

I guess at this point, I must pray and ask our Creator to keep sparing me.  It is the only thing I can do now.  Pray with all I got.

The devil is evil and wants my soul.  I have made him mad.  It now appears he will go out of his way to torment me and possibly remove me from this beautiful ball of dirt.

I will continue to defy him.  I will continue to know God is there if the devil takes my body.  I will continue to fight the devil all the way, even if it is to the very end.  

I will spit on him. I will punch him.  I will not fear him. He is a coward, a punk, an insecure ugly creature.  He will not win my soul in any shape, manner of form!

I do not know what the near future brings, but I will prepare the best I can.  I know now, that if I reach another victory, I will realize it may not last very long.  The devil appears to not want to leave me alone.

My dream of the best vacation of my life appears to still remain a dream, as of my expected start date of July 15th has come and gone.

I am sad, but I'm sure I will mentally bounce back and regroup and be ready for another dark chapter, if it is so intended.

Is was exactly a year ago I had to watch the poison of chemo enter my body.... a body that stayed drug free, alcohol free and cigarette free for all of my 61 years here.  It was a devastating moment for me to watch that first drop enter my body.  I will never ever forget it.

If there is a few things I know now, more than ever..... that we are to love as much as possible, reject evil, fight evil and to talk to God as much as possible. In the very end, he will be there.  He told me so.

So in about two weeks, I should know if it's battle time (again)...... or time to finally plan on my vacation of my lifetime...(again).

For those that know me and are my friends, close your eyes and for 5 little seconds, ask our Creator to give me a little more strength to fight again, if I must. He hears each and every one of you. I know it! Thank you.

I love you all!

Jonny, the energizer bunny of life 🙂