Usually, I want time to pass more slowly. I want to enjoy every second twice if possible. I want to squeeze out every ounce of life as I can get.
Not today. Not this week.
I want time to move ahead 7 days in the blink of an eye. Every minute is pain today and the next 7 days or so. I am trying to do anything to pass another minute, another hour or another day.
Nights are very unpleasant during this one week. Hardly no sleep, no rest, and no wonderful dreams. Every time I swallow, the pain awakens me.
I would never wish this upon a person, not even an enemy. I pray often for relief. Sometimes, I feel like this fight was destined long ago. I have to travel through this fire to fully understand what it means to live, to enjoy what God has given us, to fully appreciate life and not fret about the small stuff.
I have learned. I have truly learned!!
In 7 days, I shall be reborn. I shall go outside and hug the grass and look up into the sky and say, "Thank you,dear God!" I shall rejoice. I shall celebrate. I shall give thanks where thanks are due.
I wasn't lucky. It was not just me fighting the devil. I had help. God never deserted me, and even if there is more fighting to do, he will be beside me. He has and will comfort me. As I said before, I truly am a blessed man, regardless of the past, present , or future.
I will be Victorious in the War, even if this battle turns more sour. I am so happy to have had the help from so many who offered words of comfort and prayers to the Almighty on my behalf.
Gee weez, even in this extreme funk, I feel like I'm the happiest and luckiest guy to ever live. I don't even know how that happens.
I am trying to occupy my time by going through my life's 4 million photos. Ironically, when looking at pictures from all of my life, I literally see life flashing before my eyes. Some regrets, some extreme happiness and many sorrows of the beautiful souls I captured on film, that are now gone.
I am hurting, but extremely happy. I am thankful. I am glad to be alive. I ask for forgiveness for those I have hurt or have done wrong. I was niave and dumb. Please forgive me.
Now I must go back into the fire, but God gave me some brass knuckles to help me when I land punches to the evil one. He always knows what's going on.
For those of you that are suffering and in your own battle, I ask you to pray hard to God and simply ask him for the strength to conquer your fears and the devil. Pray hard and the internal strength will be granted. Do not doubt it. Doubting will not work!! Fully submerse yourself into believing. Don't ask for a win, ask for the strength to beat the fear, the evil and the devil into submission. Do not let the evil just attack you while sitting still. Ask for the strength to fight and it shall be granted. Open your eyes today and say, it is time to kick some butt!! If I can offer any help by talking, my email is Jonny@RockOnAdventures.com. I am here if I can help you find the spirit to fight!
Wahoooo....let's finish this party out like it's 1999! (Ha, I just thought I heard the devil say "oh boy")
Jonny, the extreme happy guy that the devil is having a hard time with!
Peace and Love to all!
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