I am very tired and laying in bed and can hardly move. This evil disease does not play well. The chemo seems like it really pours on the steam after I have the chemo pump removed.
The biggest pain I experience is in the mouth. A raw blister canker sore nightmare. Sores under your tongue have a pain that....well, can make Superman cry. A nausea in the stomach is there, but nothing like the mouth pain.
Sometimes I feel all of this is just a test to see when I will break. A test to see at what point I will lose my Faith. Not happening!
It has been 1.5 years of fighting this funk. My body is not the same, but my mind is. I get so tired physically and mentally that it just hurts so much. I can never let up or the devil will win.
I am in my worst week of the 3 week cycle...and man is it getting a brother down. I will feel this way until Friday or Saturday and then I will start a week of total happiness and recovery.....before I have to do it all over again. I only have 2 more cycles of chemo. Only 2.
I think I can pull enough energy, love and strength from my God and all of those that are my friends.... to get me across this finish line. I am thankful for that.
If and when I am clear, the world better be ready. One time a few years ago, I had the wild idea I wanted to 100 foot races in a year. Triathlons, Duathlons, off road, road, 10k, 5k, Half Marathons....I did them all from Florida to California, all 100 of them.
When I'm well, I will be the energizer bunny on crack. Ha. I cannot wait to hear "Uncle Bill" yell "30 seconds to start", or the race director counting down 10 seconds to start. Ahh, life is so good and fabulous. All I need is another chance at life. Just one more chance.
I love all of you beautiful freaks 😀 and friends. I will challenge all of you to a race of your choice, when I'm clear.
Let us make the devil weep together and at the same time, make our God proud!!
Do not forget to improve yourself daily. Drop the cigaretts, the booze, drugs....take up something that is good for you. Get off the couch. Get a fitness watch and monitor your health. Start walking a mile in the evening. Set a beautiful example for your children. Eat better, feel better and enjoy everything God has given us. Do not waste another second. If you need my help, contact me. It really is easier than you think, once you get started.
Rock on my beautiful friends and awesome freakies! I love you all! 🙂
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