Well, things are moving along since I finished my hopefully last chemo session. Man, that last session took me all the way down to my knees. Being on my knees was a great time to pray more.
I survived that last terrible battle and now am bouncing back again for the 100th time (it seems). I am amazed at the human spirit and the human body. It really is stronger than we think it is. As many times as I thought I could not bear any more pain....I somehow found a way to keep my head up and keep praying and fighting.
I am still not out of the woods yet, but things are a little better. I do a ct scan in 5 weeks to see if any areas are glowing or growing inside me. I am praying for an "all clear", but I also know how the devil plays with your mind. All I can do is pray, have Faith and begin to live again between scans. I have no choice. I cannot sit around and wait. I must get my strength back and begin to rebuild like I really am free and clear.
I also have had a separate setback, regarding my broken heart. I lost someone close to my heart and it hurts. They are ok, I just lost them being close to my heart. I no longer have what I thought was my soulmate. This terrible disease changes the person that has it and also the people around that person. It is just as much my fault for my loss and it is another hurdle to try and get over. I will be ok, my heart just hurts. Life can be cruel and tough sometimes, so you gotta always be ready to be blindsided by another punch. I am strong though, and I will survive.
This last Friday night, I had a race director call me and asked me if I wanted to do my favorite Duathon near Groveland on this past Saturday morning. They knew it was my favorite race. I could not say no, so I showed up Saturday morning and ran 3.1 miles off road, then a 12 mile road bike, then a 1.5 mile off road run. It took me almost two hours to complete this same race that I completed many times in 1 hour 20 minutes. I finished Saturday's race, 8th place from last place.....but I finished. Yes I was very slow and not a bundle of energy, but the mental power from completing this race was sensational!!
God continues to guide me in this battle. He told me to race as well as my doctor. I was so overwhelmed at the finish, I was crying like a baby. I cannot express the feeling of never letting the devil win. Mentally never, physically he may get me one day.....just not this past Saturday!
Anyhoo, I am slowly back working now and feeling better. I will live each day like it is my last, and one day I will be correct. Time is valuable, so I gotta race every race I can before my hourglass runs out of sand.
Thanks to all of my friends that have helped me in so many ways at fighting this disease. I could never have come this far without all of the inspirational words and prayers you have given me. I simply cannot thank you enough.
God is Great and the devil is evil! Faith is ever so powerful against the dark forces. I am so glad my God loves me.
Jonny, the lover of this beautiful life
Thank you Lorris for the support. It all comes down to a new ct scan in 5 weeks. I hope and pray it is good news. Meanwhile I'm gonna build back my energy and start living again. It is time to live entirely on Faith, as it is all I can do now. I hope all is well and I miss you guys too. Much love. Jon
GM Jon, its Lorris......it was too long between posts! I check in every day or so to see how you are doing. Good news today. I am happy you were able to do the race no matter how slow it was for you. It will improve! I am so happy you are finished with the last chemo and on the way back to feeling great. Miss you!